Two years is nothing...

I came across this by chance (and thanks to one of my most trusted connections).

I got to do a bit of dubbing for a local movie, which, in my mind, is going to be categorised under 'international film' thanks to our hypocritical, Malaysia 'systemisation' of things. The movie is called 'The DVD' (English/Malaysian).

Taking from the some shots of the movie that I had seen, I figured that the movie evolves around a teenager, who chose to make a quick buck from gangsters by selling them pornographic content. Gradually, he started degrading morally and got deeper into the gangsters' ways. Of course, things got out of hand (eventually) but I only know this much.

But what surprised me most was that the movie was shot 5 years ago. 5 bloody years. That's 3 more than The Joshua Tapes (a movie that I was heavily involved in) and, coming to think of it, the snippets of The DVD were better in certain ways - better picture quality, more exciting story line and shittier acting.

Suddenly, it all dawned on me that our local film industry really needs help. Taking five years for a movie (made for the cinema) to reach the cinema is pretty shit. Either that or our producers really need a kick in the butts for procrastinating. I think the motivation should come from the belief that movies are made for the viewers and not for a director's/producer's own fancy. With that, while the journey is in making a movie, the final destination of every director/producer should be the audiences' acceptance/reaction, be it applause or condemnation.

Maybe I should make a movie first before posting this. Hmph.


Unused material

Hmm. Since nobody reads this blog, I thought it'll be a wise junkyard for my unused jokes.

These jokes are, either, unused by people I write jokes for or unused due to timeliness.

So, for a start, here are some jokes I wrote for an emcee, who was doing the '100 millionth passenger party' for AirAsia and didn't use any of it. Here are the raw jokes, as copied and pasted from the MS Word file.

Jokes for AirAsia show 13/10/10


All the pilots say, WOO! All the co-pilots say, WOO! Now, all the auto-pilots says, WOO! What? You all invited so little auto-pilots? The one who does ALL the flying?!!

2. And if all of you are here, who is flying the planes? (by Matt Ho)

3. 100 million

Congratulations on your 100 millionth passenger. 100 million. In India, that’s nothing. A 100 million people is like my village. Or like my family. On my father’s side.


Very proud of you Indians in Malaysia. You Indians have taken everything. Outer space is taken by Ananda Krishna - Astro. On the ground, all the highways are taken by Samy Vellu. Right in middle, is Tony Fernandez.


All the best to Tony Fernandez, I think Tony is going to beat Richard Branson in the betting game. And we are going to see Richard Branson in women’s clothing. But we all know there’s nothing Virgin about that.(by Jenhan)


Thank you AirAsia for flying me down. I must say, your cabin is a bit tight but lucky your stewardesses a bit loose.

But the problem is, you girls charge for everything. By the time you take off the belt, we’re out of money.

As an Indian on an AirAsia, the flights are always shorter ... because I can’t stop bargaining. “10 ringgit for a plate of Nasi Lemak? Are you kidding me? With 10 ringgit, Tony Fernandez can buy 10 AirAsia companies!


Personally, I don’t like really MAS Airlines. Especially, their uniform. Reminds me of a porn video I watched a long time ago.


For all of you who are drunk and cannot drive, don’t worry outside got a lot of illegal taxis waiting to take you home.

10. POEM

Roses are red, violets are blue, if you are getting lucky, there’s Tune Hotel for you!


I just tell jokes...

Today, someone said I look like the 'comedian' type. That I seem detached from the world and yet, have the uncanny ability to absorb every detail around me. I gathered the person is a bit psycho but I responded to the comments with my much-practised "really ah?"

The fact is, I've never set out to be a comedian (please read Back Story 1*). I just tell jokes. It's only when one is making a living out of telling jokes that makes one a comedian. Mine is just a hobby. A paid hobby.

The funny thing is, I received that comment just before my play rehearsal (please read Back Story 2*) and acting, however, feels right for me. It has always been. Sometimes, I like to think that I'm acting on stage, where I play a character that resembles a (supposed) funny version of me. Sadly, I always ended playing the struggling comedian role. I think it'll be ultra ironic if, one day, I play an unfunny comedian in a play. Hmm.

But by the looks of things, comedy pays well whereas acting, well, let's just say I'm a face transplant away from making it.

Back Story 1*
Back in 2003, I co-found a comedy group called The ComeBackKings and ever since, my work has been trying to churn out material for the group. I only started walking the path on my own in 2008, at the call of a few friends, to do stand-up comedy. Well, my stand-up comedy debut wasn't really a stand-up performance for me as I've always seen it as a "light hearted monologue".

It went (sorda) well that night and it felt good, so I started doing more. But then, I got carried away by the comedy wave and before I knew it, I was in YCOM, doing Time Out KL Comedy Thursday, performed for Comedy Club KL, opened for Harith and the MACC (the less funny one). So comedy, for me, feels more like work and not as enjoyable as acting.

Back Story 2*
I'm doing Short and Sweet, Week 1.