An everlasting end

If the Mona Lisa was produced today, will it be remembered tomorrow?

I am comedian and writer. Suffice to say that my mainstay is selling either my talent or ideas.

I still recall, as I was starting out, I wake up every day hoping to create greatness - an original idea so simple and brilliant that my clients can or have reasons to remember me for. This was a time before the democratization of creativity through the use of the Internet via various channels like 9Gag, Imgur, Facebook, Twitter and what have you. Note, I did mention I'm a comedian and these channels are within my own discourse.

Today, we see a constant flow of 'creativity' on these channels. They may not be original but because these channels reach out to so many, authentication and originality suddenly become irrelevant, and sometimes, even unnecessary.

Today, creativity works in tandem with speed - it's not about who says it anymore, it's about who said it first. An idea one might have today, might be someone else's tomorrow - all it takes is to get beaten to posting the idea up on the channels available.

Today, it is much more difficult to judge the quality of one's work. There's almost no cannons, judges or who gets to say whose quality of work is better, not mention whether the work is of quality. Quality is now judged through quantification - the more 'Likes', the more views, the more 'retweets', the better the quality. We can even say that quality is now all about popularity. If an unknown artist's work has more 'Likes', 'retweets' or 'views' than, say, Da Vinci's Mona Lisa, who is to say that this unknown artist's work is not of quality?

If Da Vinci was still alive today and he reveals the Mona Lisa today, will his work be appreciated as much. Will his work even be remembered tomorrow?

Back in the day, creativity, talent and even popularity had a gauge. Does the artist have skillful brush work? Can the singer hit a particular note? Can a bassist play a particular bassline without getting finger cramps?

Today, whether or not an artist knows how to hold a brush, whether or not a singer can even sing... speed of creativity is the KEY. We produce and digest so many ideas everyday that there is no time to truly appreciate one's creations anymore.

Having said that, allow me to return to this blog's title -  An everlasting end. In my opinion, within the domain of love songs - we have so many songs about love, whether it's good or bad, there won't be another song album that can be named Everlasting Love Songs anymore.

Creativity will never last as long. It will only get replaced. It's just a matter of speed.  


I think therefore I am...NOT

You may have heard the statement - "I think therefore I am" If you didn't, now you do.

And for the more perceptive of beings, you may also know that some French dude came up with this statement as means to proof one's existence; "I am able to form thought, so I must exist". If you didn't, now you do. 

But I really do wonder if this still rings true in this day of age - an age where we have so many levels of existence - the self, the subject, the 'digital' self, etc. If this statement still applies then my thoughts go out the man who died in his office cubicle and was left to rot for 5 days by his colleagues, who never treated him like he existed. I wonder what were his last thoughts and whether he pondered about Descartes' famous statement. Descartes is the French dude, by the way.

And how many people even 'think' nowadays? I 'think' therefore I am? How about 'I assume therefore I am'. That could work, right? I'm sure we all know someone who is convinced that he or she exists in some form of 'assumed existence'.

"Oh, I performed at a 3-minute open mic stand-up comedy show. I'm a stand-up comedian now. I assume therefore I am."

"Oh, I'm an extra in a TV commercial. I'm an actor now. I assume therefore I am."

"Oh, I'm married to someone who is now the Prime Minister of a country. I'm the first lady of this country. But what happens when my husband is no longer the Prime Minister? Will I continue to 'exist' then? 

Oh, fark that shit - I assume therefore I am."




List of "achievements"

I always think achievements are a bit subjective -- we tend declare what we've achieved something based on our own definition of achievement. To me, achievement is something that others recognize you for. But a friend told me that listing down your own achievements can be quite therapeutic so...

Here's my list of "achievements":

- Born, son, first swim since I was a sperm,

- kindergarten: 2nd best in 1st year of kindergarten, 2nd best in 2nd year of kindergarten, 3rd best in kindergarten monthly exam, 3rd placed on sports day "Sukan Beraneka"

- primary school: 2nd-best in class Year 1, met my wife in Year 2, first acting gig in Year 3, class monitor (several occasions), school football team in Year 4, inter-classroom football champions, 2nd-best in class Year 5, President of Kelab Sains, jogathon champion in Year 6, 2nd place in 100m dash Year 6, 2nd place in high jump Year 6, 1st place in 100m 4x4 rally Year 6, aced UPSR, Bintang Sekolah 1996

- high school: 1st place in 800m run, 3rd place in 100m 4x4 rally Year 7, inter-classroom football champions, 1st place in 800m run, 1st place in 100m 4x4 rally Year 8, my first job in a manufacturing country, aced PMR, acted in 1st school theater production "The Ten Penny Tragedy", job passing out leaflets, had sex, went on a Jamboree, Vice-President for Interact club, Discipline Officer of 10th PJ Scout Troop, acted in 2nd school theater production "The Miser", passed SPM

- college student: co-directed 1st college theater production "Save The Last Dance", made 1st TV appearance "Katakan...", joined Mass Communications Course, co-directed and acted in college theater production "The Miser", President of Society of Performing Arts, directed college theater production "Hip-Hopera: The Dansical", co-founded The ComeBackKings, 1st gig as a skit-based comedian, wrote first skit-based script, inter-year futsal champions, 2nd best in Public Speaking final-year presentation, won talent competition with The ComeBackKings, received Diploma

- university student: co-directed college theater production "Importance of Being Earnest", won another talent competition with The ComeBackKings, directed college theater production "Old Saybrook", first outstation show with The ComeBackKings, went to Australia, 4 days without sleep, played first rugby match, survived first bone-repair operation, survived Australia

- Theater Supervisor, writer+actor+producer for Media Prime on ad-hoc, wrote 15 scripts for 15 www.gua.com.my videos, PR Executive, ad-hoc PR advisor, did first stand-up comedy gig, helped kick-off Time Out KL Comedy Thursday, writer, joined Malaysian Association of Chinese Comedians, freelance writer, freelance sub-editor, voice-dubbed 2 seasons of Bola Kampung, Best Actor for Short+Sweet Malaysia 2010, successful proposal, got hitched, wrote first TV commercial script, acted in first TV commercial, acted in first Internet commercial, full-time comedian, 1st official theater production "Corporal Punishment"

And that's all I can remember. Hmm, I'm supposed to feel better right about now...


1st blog of 2012: Retiring jokes

Jokes are like porn videos. They're not as good as the first time you were exposed to it. - me, 2011

Some comedians, like me, retire jokes. Why? Because the jokes have gone stale. Because certain topics - current affairs topics, are not current anymore. Because the jokes do not evoke as much emotion from the audience as before. So, every year, I retire a few jokes and these jokes are mainly not evergreen topics. Topics like:

Joke 1: Malaysian football:

[Wear Malaysian national football team jersey 2010]

You must be wondering why I'm wearing this jersey. It's because it's my most favourite Malaysian jersey. Not because Malaysia won something, it's because this is the most Malaysian of ALL Malaysian jerseys. Look at it -- like some bloody rempit ran over me like that. So Malaysian.

We wore it when we won the Suzuki Cup. The Suzuki Cup. [Do riding motorbike gesture] So Malaysian.

Maybe the players think they can really win motorbike. [Reenact scene]

When we won, we got a public holiday. I didn’t know the Suzuki Cup so important! We didn’t get a holiday when our squash player become number 1, badminton player become number 1. Not one holiday. Half-day also don’t have.

Imagine if we win the World Cup -- whole week holiday! If we ever qualify -- 1 month holiday.

Remember the final when we beat Indonesia 3-0 at Bukit Jalil. Create such a bad PR towards the Indonesians - they send their football team here, we beat beat them. Send their badminton players here, we beat them. [Under breath] Send their maids, also we beat them. This is bad.

And in that match, some smart Malaysians who brought their laser and shot lasers at the Indonesian goalkeeper, trying to blind him. When Indonesia lost, ALL the Indonesians got angry. But why, Indonesians?
[WAIT, ARE THERE ANY INDONESIANS HERE? Don’ have right? I know 'cause got no lasers on me.]

So, why you so angry? We just blind your goalkeeper, ONE goalkeeper, all Indonesians get angry. Every year, you send your haze and blind ALL of us, we also not angry!


Joke 2: Sissy Camp

Heard of the camp in Terengganu for effeminate boys. Effeminate boys means those boys who are very sissy, very girly - I don't [insert victim] told me. [*point at one corner* YOU SEE THAT! Ah, those boys in the crowd who turn their head very fast are most likely effeminate boys, and they are probably folding their arms now. While pouting.]

You see, this camp has 66 boys with effeminate tendencies, who religious teachers claim that they might become full-blown transvestites, cross-dressers or Aznil, if they are given masculine behaviour training.

Masculine behaviour training? What IS masculine behaviour training? Their timetable is how? 2pm: wake up with a hangover. 3pm: get out of bed and have a cigarette for breakfast. 3.10: Check Facebook and Twitter. 5pm: Play DOTA, Left For Dead or Skyrim. Midnight: Sleepy, so check 9Gag first. 1am: Feeling horny so look for porn. 1.05am: clean keyboard with tissue.

And is this camp suppose to scare effeminate boys? What happens when you tell an effeminate boy that he's going to a camp with other effeminate boys? [Act out: "OMIGOD! I'M LIKE SO GOING THERE! WE'RE GONNA WATCH GLEE, HAVE PILLOW FIGHTS..."]

Effeminate boys in a camp? Haven't they watched Brokeback Mountain? Two boys is enough and they now have 66 boys. Even number some more. And don't think the number 66 look like 2 people spooning?

What's scary to me is, this camp is going after all the effeminate boys in Malaysia. I can't imagine who Malaysia will be without effeminate boys? Who is going to host Akedemi Fantasia? Who's going to teach us how to cook? WHO ARE WE GOING TO SEND TO OUTER SPACE?!


More jokes to follow this path, I'm afraid. Gotta do more evergreen topics.