Unused material

Hmm. Since nobody reads this blog, I thought it'll be a wise junkyard for my unused jokes.

These jokes are, either, unused by people I write jokes for or unused due to timeliness.

So, for a start, here are some jokes I wrote for an emcee, who was doing the '100 millionth passenger party' for AirAsia and didn't use any of it. Here are the raw jokes, as copied and pasted from the MS Word file.


Jokes for AirAsia show 13/10/10

1. PILOTS

All the pilots say, WOO! All the co-pilots say, WOO! Now, all the auto-pilots says, WOO! What? You all invited so little auto-pilots? The one who does ALL the flying?!!

2. And if all of you are here, who is flying the planes? (by Matt Ho)

3. 100 million

Congratulations on your 100 millionth passenger. 100 million. In India, that’s nothing. A 100 million people is like my village. Or like my family. On my father’s side.

4. PROUD OF INDIANS

Very proud of you Indians in Malaysia. You Indians have taken everything. Outer space is taken by Ananda Krishna - Astro. On the ground, all the highways are taken by Samy Vellu. Right in middle, is Tony Fernandez.

5. RICHARD BRANSON

All the best to Tony Fernandez, I think Tony is going to beat Richard Branson in the betting game. And we are going to see Richard Branson in women’s clothing. But we all know there’s nothing Virgin about that.(by Jenhan)

6. LOOSE STEWARDESS

Thank you AirAsia for flying me down. I must say, your cabin is a bit tight but lucky your stewardesses a bit loose.

But the problem is, you girls charge for everything. By the time you take off the belt, we’re out of money.

INDIAN BARGAIN
As an Indian on an AirAsia, the flights are always shorter ... because I can’t stop bargaining. “10 ringgit for a plate of Nasi Lemak? Are you kidding me? With 10 ringgit, Tony Fernandez can buy 10 AirAsia companies!

8. MAS PORN

Personally, I don’t like really MAS Airlines. Especially, their uniform. Reminds me of a porn video I watched a long time ago.

9. ILLEGAL TAXI

For all of you who are drunk and cannot drive, don’t worry outside got a lot of illegal taxis waiting to take you home.

10. POEM

Roses are red, violets are blue, if you are getting lucky, there’s Tune Hotel for you!